Grief and Anxiety: Why Losing Someone Can Make You Fear Everything Else
Grief is often described as an overwhelming sense of loss, a deep sadness that follows the absence of someone we love. But what isn’t talked about enough is how grief and anxiety go hand in hand. Losing someone can shake the very foundation of our sense of safety, making everything else in life feel fragile and uncertain. Suddenly, the world feels unpredictable, and fear creeps in where there was once a sense of stability. If you’ve found yourself feeling more anxious after a loss, you’re not alone. Grief therapy can provide support as you navigate these emotions, helping you process both your loss and the fears that follow.
Why Grief and Anxiety Are So Closely Connected
When we lose someone important to us, we lose more than just that relationship—we lose a sense of security. Our daily lives, routines, and emotional anchors are disrupted. This disruption often leads to a heightened awareness of all the other things we could lose. The thought of something else going wrong—another loss, another painful event—feels unbearable. The mind, in its attempt to protect us, starts scanning for danger, and before we know it, anxiety becomes a constant companion.
The fear of mortality can become more intense after a loss. When a loved one passes away, it reminds us of our own vulnerability and the unpredictability of life. You might find yourself worrying more about the safety of other family members. Or you might experience health-related anxiety, or feel a deep sense of dread about the unknown. A grief counselor can help make sense of these fears and provide strategies for navigating them, without minimizing the depth of your loss.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Grief and Anxiety
The way we process grief is often shaped by our attachment style. This is the emotional blueprint formed in early childhood that influences how we connect with others. Understanding this can help us make sense of why some people experience heightened anxiety after a loss.
Secure Attachment: Those with a secure attachment style tend to trust that they can navigate grief and still maintain a connection with the deceased in a meaningful way. While the loss is painful, they can seek comfort from others and find ways to process their emotions without feeling completely overwhelmed by fear.
Anxious Attachment: If you have an anxious attachment style, grief can amplify pre-existing fears of abandonment. Losing someone might feel like a confirmation of the belief that people leave. Making it even harder to trust that other relationships will remain stable. This often leads to heightened anxiety, clinginess in relationships, or excessive worry about losing others.
Avoidant Attachment: Those with an avoidant attachment style may try to suppress their grief. Distancing themselves from emotions and relationships. While this might seem like a way to manage pain, unresolved grief can often manifest as physical symptoms, anxiety, or a deep-seated fear of relying on others.
Disorganized Attachment: For those with a disorganized attachment style, grief can be particularly intense. The loss can trigger conflicting emotions—wanting closeness but fearing it at the same time. This can lead to cycles of deep anxiety, difficulty trusting others, or struggling with emotional regulation.
How Loss Can Reshape Our Sense of Safety
When we lose someone, it’s not just about missing them. It’s about losing a sense of protection and familiarity. For some, a spouse’s death means the loss of a lifelong partner who provided emotional and financial security. For a child who loses a parent, the world suddenly becomes a much scarier place. Even losing a close friend can leave us feeling unmoored, questioning who we are without that person in our life.
Grief can make the ordinary feel terrifying. Things you never worried about before—driving at night, health concerns, sudden accidents—may now feel like threats lurking around every corner. The brain, in an effort to prevent future pain, starts creating worst-case scenarios. This heightened state of alertness can make daily life exhausting. Finding ways to address the grief and the anxiety, as you would in holistic grief therapy in Sherman Oaks, can help you regain a sense of control while honoring the reality of your loss.
Navigating Anxiety While Processing Loss
Understanding that grief and anxiety are interconnected can be helpful in finding ways to cope. Here are some ways to manage the anxiety that often accompanies loss:
Acknowledge the Fear: It’s okay to feel more anxious after a loss. Recognizing this as a natural response rather than something that’s “wrong” with you can make a big difference.
Stay Connected: Grief can make us want to withdraw, but isolation often makes anxiety worse. Talking with trusted friends, family, or a grief therapist can help ground you.
Practice Mindfulness: Anxiety thrives on worst-case scenarios. Grounding techniques, breathing exercises, or meditation can help bring you back to the present moment when your mind starts racing.
Create Routines: Loss often disrupts our sense of normalcy. Establishing small, daily routines can help rebuild a sense of stability and control.
Seek Professional Support: If anxiety becomes overwhelming, working with a grief counselor can provide the tools needed to navigate both grief and fear in a healthy way.
Finding Meaning Amidst Loss
Grief changes us. It reshapes the way we see the world, ourselves, and our relationships. While it’s painful, it also offers an opportunity to reflect on what truly matters. The presence of anxiety after a loss doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken—it means you loved deeply, and that love continues to shape your journey.
Processing grief is not about “getting over” someone but about learning how to carry their memory forward while also making space for your own life. And in time, while the anxiety may not disappear entirely, it will soften, allowing you to move forward with a greater understanding of yourself and the connections that make life meaningful. If you feel stuck in the fear that grief has left behind, grief therapy in Sherman Oaks can offer guidance in making sense of your emotions and regaining a sense of stability.
Processing Loss with Grief Therapy in Sherman Oaks & Throughout Los Angeles
Grief isn’t just about losing a loved one—it can also come from losing a sense of security, identity, or stability. Life transitions, the end of relationships, or unexpected change can bring emotions just as deep and overwhelming as traditional loss. Grief therapy in Sherman Oaks & throughout Los Angeles offers a space to process these emotions without judgment, helping you make sense of what you're feeling. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve—what matters is that your experience is real and deserves care.
As an online grief therapist, I provide support for all types of loss, helping you untangle complex emotions and navigate the uncertainty that grief can bring. Whether you're struggling with fear, numbness, relief, or anxiety, therapy gives you a place to explore those feelings without pressure or comparison. Healing isn’t about forgetting or moving on—it’s about learning how to carry your grief in a way that allows you to keep living.
Learn More About Me and My Services
Grief doesn’t follow a script, and you don’t have to go through it alone. When you're ready, support is here.
Other Therapy Services Offered by Kiana Naimi
In addition to grief counseling, I offer a range of therapeutic services for individuals across Los Angeles and throughout California. Grief is just one piece of the emotional landscape, and true healing often means addressing multiple aspects of mental well-being. To support this, I take a holistic approach, providing trauma therapy and therapy intensives designed to facilitate deeper healing and growth. My practice integrates various therapeutic modalities, including Narrative Therapy, Attachment-Based Grief, Trauma-Focused CBT, Somatic Embodiment & Regulation Strategies, and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Reach out to learn more about how I can support you in navigating your unique path toward healing and emotional resilience.