Talking to Friends Isn’t the Same as Grief Therapy—Here’s Why Both Matter
Grief is one of the most personal, overwhelming, and life-altering experiences a person can go through. When loss enters our lives—whether through death, estrangement, or the end of a significant relationship—it can feel like the world has tilted off its axis. In these moments, we often turn to the people closest to us: our friends.
Friends can be an incredible source of comfort. They listen, offer support, and remind us that we are not alone. But as much as friends can help, grief therapy serves a different purpose—one that is equally important in processing loss.
Both spaces—personal connections and professional support—matter in their own ways. Understanding the differences can help you create a support system that truly meets your needs as you move through grief.
Friends Provide Emotional Support, But Grief Therapy Provides Structured Processing
The Role of Friends in Grief
A good friend can be a lifeline in grief. They are the ones who show up with a meal, sit with you in silence, or answer your late-night texts when you’re struggling to sleep. Their role is to be present, listen, and offer emotional support in an organic, unstructured way.
Talking to friends can be helpful because:
It provides immediate comfort. Having someone acknowledge your pain can feel grounding and validating.
It reminds you that you are not alone. Grief can feel isolating, and friends provide a connection to the world outside of your loss.
It offers an outlet for expressing emotions. Sometimes, simply saying things out loud to someone who cares can lighten the emotional load.
But as valuable as friends are, their support has limitations when it comes to processing grief.
How Grief Therapy is Different
While friends provide comfort, grief therapy in Sherman Oaks & across Los Angeles provides structured, guided processing that helps you work through your emotions in a deeper and more intentional way. A trained grief therapist understands how grief affects the brain, emotions, and body. They offer:
A safe, non-judgmental space to explore complex feelings. While friends may unintentionally impose their own opinions or discomfort, therapy is designed to help you process your grief at your own pace.
Professional insight into grief’s psychological impact. Grief therapists help you understand why grief feels the way it does, including how it affects your nervous system, thought patterns, and behaviors.
Practical tools and coping strategies. Unlike casual conversations with friends, therapy provides concrete ways to navigate grief, whether through mindfulness, journaling, or exploring personal beliefs about loss.
In short, while friends help hold you up in grief, therapy helps you work through it in a way that fosters long-term emotional processing.
Friends May Struggle to Hold Space for Grief
One of the biggest challenges with relying solely on friends for support is that not everyone knows how to show up for grief.
Even the most well-intentioned friends may:
Try to “fix” your grief instead of simply listening.
Avoid talking about your loss because they don’t know what to say.
Offer platitudes like “Everything happens for a reason” that feel dismissive.
Grow uncomfortable with how long your grief lasts.
Because grief is not linear and doesn’t have a set timeline, some friends may expect you to “move on” before you’re ready. This can lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, or loneliness.
A grief therapist, on the other hand, understands that grief is a long-term, evolving process. They won’t rush you, minimize your pain, or try to fix something that isn’t meant to be fixed. Instead, they will guide you through the emotional landscape of grief in a way that allows for true processing.
Therapy Helps When Grief Becomes Overwhelming
Sometimes, grief feels like an unbearable weight—one that affects daily life, relationships, and even physical health. While talking to friends can provide temporary relief, it may not be enough when grief starts interfering with your ability to function.
Signs that therapy may be helpful include:
Persistent feelings of numbness, hopelessness, or anger.
Difficulty sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
Avoiding reminders of your loss to the point of isolation.
Feeling stuck, like you can’t move forward in any capacity.
Grief therapy provides tools to navigate these challenges. A therapist can help identify patterns that keep you stuck and offer ways to process emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.
Both Friends and Therapy Play a Role in Processing Grief
You don’t have to choose between talking to friends and seeking grief therapy—both serve a purpose in the grieving process.
How Friends Help:
They offer immediate emotional support.
They remind you of the world beyond grief.
They provide companionship in moments of loneliness.
How Therapy Helps:
It offers a structured space to explore grief deeply.
It provides coping tools that extend beyond casual conversation.
It helps process emotions in a way that fosters long-term adjustment.
The Power of a Combined Approach
By balancing both personal and professional support, you create a comprehensive grief support system. This means:
Leaning on friends for comfort, connection, and shared memories.
Turning to therapy for deeper processing, guidance, and coping strategies.
Allowing both spaces to exist without expecting one to fulfill every need.
Grief is too complex and doesn’t need to be navigated alone, and it’s okay to need different kinds of support at different times. Some days, a long conversation with a friend is enough. Other days, grief therapy is necessary to unpack deeper emotions.
Final Thoughts
Grief changes us—it reshapes the way we see the world, ourselves, and our relationships. Talking to friends offers connection, reassurance, and a sense of normalcy, while therapy provides the intentional processing necessary to navigate grief in a healthy way. Both are valuable. Both are important. And together, they create a support system that allows you to move through grief with compassion, understanding, and the space to process at your own pace.
Creating a Support System with Grief Therapy in Sherman Oaks & Across Los Angeles
Grief is too complex to be carried alone—and it shouldn’t have to be. While friends can offer love, comfort, and connection, some emotions need a deeper space to land. Grief therapy in Sherman Oaks & throughout Los Angeles provides a supportive environment where you can move beyond surface-level conversations and begin to process the pain, questions, and patterns that keep you stuck. You don’t have to choose between support from friends and working with a grief therapist—both matter and both can help you find your footing after loss.
As an online grief therapist, I offer a grounded, compassionate space to explore the layers of your grief—whether you’re feeling numb, overwhelmed, disconnected, or just unsure of how to keep going. With the help of therapy approaches like EMDR and other grief-informed techniques, we’ll work together to gently untangle the weight of your emotions and create space for peace, clarity, and healing. There’s no timeline and no pressure—just space for you to be where you are.
Learn More About Me and My Services
Grief doesn’t have to be faced alone. When you’re ready for support that goes deeper, I’m here to help.
Other Therapy Services Offered by Kiana Naimi
Beyond grief counseling, I provide a range of therapeutic services for individuals in Los Angeles and throughout California. Grief may bring someone to therapy, but healing often involves exploring deeper emotional patterns, past experiences, and nervous system responses that shape how we move through the world. That’s why I take a holistic approach, offering trauma therapy and therapy intensives that go beyond surface-level coping and support lasting transformation. My practice draws from Narrative Therapy, Attachment-Based Grief, Trauma-Focused CBT, Somatic Embodiment & Regulation Strategies, and Internal Family Systems (IFS), allowing us to tailor your care to exactly what you need. If you’re looking for more than just space to talk—if you want space to heal—I’m here to walk that journey with you.